The Expendables: Wh40k Edition!
by Moonreaper666
Summary: The Chosen Emperor leads the Chaos Imperium and its most powerful team ever assemble, the Chosen Five. The tales of these five champions of Chaos will send them throughout the multiverse to sow the seeds of CHAOS!
1. Prologue

There are stories of a small band of heroes going on an adventure, overcoming difficult odds to protect those that they love, and bringing peace to a war-torn land. But since this is a Warhammer story of course none of that pile of shit is gonna happen here boy!

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><p>On the surface of a Hive ship five of the greatest human champions of chaos are tasked with… well the task is to deliver two doses of special chemicals to veins leading to the large capillary towers feeding the Hive Ships. This is the story of the Chosen Five.<p>

A khorne berserker chops another Tyranid Warrior in half, "Yes, more cattle for the slaughter!" said Khrone, champion of Khrone as he kicks a Genestealer and then stomps its head into mush

A Tyranid Zoanthrope is ripped in half by the claws of a Possessed Space Marine. A second Lictor attacks the Chaos Space Marine from behind only to be fired by a psyker's electric charge.

"Careful Argel Tal, even a gifted child is nothing more than a child." said by the Thousand Sorcerer, Ahzek Ahriman, champion of Tzeentch as he kills several Tyranids with a doombolt.

Using his power sword, the champion of Slaanesh Lucius jumps on top of a Tyrant Guard and slits its back open, leaving its alien blood dripping into the ground. "**Come and enjoy the pleasure of death!**" he said as he uses his left appendage, the Lash of Torment to grab several Genestealers and then pulls the whip, letting the teeth of the extended whip pull bits of flesh apart, eventually decapitating the aliens!

Several termagants aim their parasitic guns on the fifth member of the group, but the champion of Nurgle, Typhus dashes with unnatural speed and slices them all with a single swipe from his special Manreaper.

**Why do you steal my lines**?" he asked Lucius

"Well you are the best when it comes to making one-liners." said by Ahriman

Eliminating the small opposition in front of them, the Chosen Five inject the first vein with a powerful sedative which would disrupt communication with the Hive Mind amongst other things. In just a few seconds, the chemical starts to affect Hive fleet Alpha, Tyranids are either asleep or sluggish in action.

The five champions made their way to the second vein and administered the second chemical which unlike the first one would take an hour to take effect.

"If only the chemical would work faster," said Lucius as he kicked a pebble in his bored state

"This is the most special work of the Great Father Nurgle." said Typhus

"Don't you mean the Dark Pantheon," said Ahriman "After all it needed the ingenuity of the Emperor of Chaos, the Dark Mechanicum, and all four deities to produce this miraculous work of art."

"Relax brother, Typhus here maybe not as smart and charismatic as us, but he wouldn't dare insult us." said Lucius provoking a laugh from both Ahriman and Argel Tal

Needless to say Typhus and Khrone aren't impress.

"Argh! Why are we JUST STANDING HERE when we could slaughter the rest of this PATHETIC HIVE FLEET!?" Said Kharn as he angrily stomps on the hive ship

Suddenly, the Hive ship started to shook and then a massive horde of Tyranids converge on the champions' position.

"This is why brother," -said Argel Tal as he uses his daemonic breath to spew fire in front of the squad,- "For Chaos Undivided!"

"CHAOS IS OUR MASTER!" his comrades responded

"YES… COME TO THE SLAUGHTER!" said Kharn as he charge through the flames into the Tyranid horde, slashing, blasting, and sending hundreds of smaller Tyranids flying away!

Ahriman unleashes a corruption spell on a huge area, damaging any creature that is within the area. Many tyranids die quickly before the horde bypasses the area or go around it.

"Ouch!" said Kharn as he was in the targeted area for half-a-second, "Ahriman!" he said as he punch another Tyranid

Lucius uses his Last of Torment to swipe several gun-wielding Tyranids before engaging them in melee combat.

In his Terminator armor, Typhus sync-kills five Tyranid warriors in quick succession before releasing his special plague to decimate the Tyranid horde.

Seeing a Tyrant Guard, Kharn recklessly jumps on top of the creature and beats it to a bloody pulp with his chainaxe!

"DIE, YOU, STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!"

After killing seven Zoanthropes Argel Tal duels the Hive Tyrant. Despite having four arms, the Tyrant's attacks are being met blow by blow by Argel Tal.

"Amazing!" Said by Kharn as he witnesses the duel, unconsciously strangling a Tyranid Warrior to death.

Typhus casts a doombolt of his own killing dozens of Tyranids. The chemical is working as several Zoanthropes explode in unison.

"Yes! The bio-toxin is working!" said Ahriman as he levitates and throws a Tyranid Warrior onto several other Tyranids causing them to fall down a small cliff

Kharn fires his plasma pistol at the Hive Tyrant, allowing the Possessed One to slash away two of the monster's arms before ripping it in half! As the Undivided champion rest for a millisecond he notices another Lictor heading straight for Kharn.

"Kharn!" the Possessed Champion said as he uses his special weapon.

With the open helmet he wears are two laser turrets on each side. He fires both lasers which are individually as strong as the shot from a hellgun.

The shots connected, allowing Kharn to turn around and chop the Lictor in half!

"Thanks brother!"

After an entire hour of slaughtering through the Tyranid horde, the serum has been fully absorbed by the Hive ship, but something is definitely wrong.

Kharn pokes at a Tyranid Warrior with his pistol which doesn't illicit a response, "What in the blasted Warp is GOING ON HERE!?"

While a few of the Tyranids die off, the majority just stand still as if they are just automatons in hibernation.

"Ahriman, did Tzeentch meant for this to happen?" asked Typhus

"No… it seems the Everchosen Emperor plan this all along!"

Lucius approaches a Tyranid Warrior which tries to smell him, "Brother Ahriman, can you guess the true purpose of the serum," he said as the Tyranid keeps smelling him, "While it is great that another being enjoys my… personal perfume I do not think that this is the intention behind the serum." he ended his sentence as more Tyranids approach him

Suddenly, Ahriman experiences a headache, knocking him off balance!

"Argh! The Hive… fleet is… trying to contact me!"

In the same second, all the Tyranids, including those that were asleep started chanting.

"We kill in the name of Khrone, We control in the name of Tzeentch …"

"What is the meaning of this?" said by Argel Tal as several Tyranids bow down in front of him

"_This is the Chaos Emperor speaking_." said over the vox-channels (radio communication)

"This is the Chosen Five."

"_Have you administered the serum?_"

"Yes my lord."

"_Then you have completed the mission, well done_."

The team enters their ship, the _Fist of Horus_, and sail into Ultima Segmentum, the third largest space territory of the Chaos Imperium.

"What was the serum your majesty?" asked by Argel Tal

"Just a special liquid I made with the powers of the Dark Pantheon, daemon-tainted blood, mind-control nanites, experimental stuff to control the Hive Mind."

"You developed a serum to control the Tyranids!" said by Ahriman

"Once administered it would control the entire Hive fleet and its forces. To stop the corruption from spreading, the Hive Mind would cut off connection with the hive fleet, resulting in the creation of a new Hive Mind. That was the theory I gave the Ruinous Powers to convince them to agree with the plan.

"Wait a minute!" Argel Tal shouted, "You've risked our lives on the biggest gambit made in history, and the serum could have FAILED!?"

"HA! HA! HA! HA!" Kharn laughs away in his seat at the realization that they could have all died have the serum failed!

Typhus and Lucius joined in the incessant laughter, while Ahriman and Argel Tal looked at the Everchosen in shocked!

"The serum prototype only have a 40% chance…"

"Forty percent! You really have the nerve…" Ahriman shouted at the screen

"...of failure. The odds are in the favour of the champions of Dark Gods."

Argel Tal slammed his hands on the desk, "You really are a magnificent bastard, you know that?"

"Well I am the Emperor of Chaos after all. It took two years of my precious life to make it this far. Anyway, congratulations the Dark Gods are happy with your work. You can now rest until I give you your next mission. Tata!" he said as the screen cut off

"(Breathing) Such is the way of Chaos." said by Typhus

After calming down, the Chosen Five went to their personal rooms. The Fist of Horus is a fully sentient starship.

Kharn is busy playing Mortal Kombat. Lucius is painting the Count of Monte Cristo. Ahriman is busy reading the latest editions of comics. Typhus is slurping an entire pack of soda. Argel Tal is busy meditating.

Meanwhile…

On the planet of Gascogne, the Chosen Emperor is overseeing new recruits to his personal Chaos Space Marine legion, the Black Legion. With the death of Horus, Abaddon is now leader of the Sons of Horus and is in the process of conquering the Star Wars galaxy.

Numbering over 300,000 the Black Legion is tasked with eliminating any potential threat to Emperor Nero whether it is rival warlords stupid enough to usurp his power or a coalition of empires resisting Chaos incursions.

Sitting in his throne, Nero converses with his advisors over the latest events. He is guarded by two Terminator bodyguards modeled after the Adeptus Custodes.

"I see that the Raven Guard are still a nuisance."

"Yes, even with their Primarch dead they are the only ones still resisting the onslaught of our Gods!" said by Dark Apostle Jardek

"I also see that Hive fleet Alpha is attacking Hive fleet Beta. The tainted serum is a success. Very well bring in the first prisoner."

Two Chaos Space Marine escort a Eldar Farseer into the presence of the Chosen Emperor.

"What is she doing here?" asked one of his advisors, said by Chaos Sorcerer Addon as he approaches the prisoner.

"Simple, in exchange for letting an entire Craftworld leaving this galaxy, they would give her as a prisoner of the Chaos Imperium."

"What are your plans for her my lord?" asked by the sorcerer advisor

"Simple, take her to the prison. Until she is willing to cooperate with us we will use her for labor after all."

The two Chaos Astartes escort the prisoner to the labor camp. Underneath the sorcerer's mask, Addon grins.

* * *

><p>Back to the Chosen Five…<p>

"What is the next mission oh great one?" said by Ahriman as the five champions bow in respect

"Since you all have cooperated nicely on your first mission together, all five of you will be teleported to five different worlds."

"A competition?"

"Yes! The more successful your conquest is the bigger reward you shall receive!"

The champions look at each other then back at the screen.

"YES! BLOOD AND GLORY!" Said by Kharn as he **high-fives** Typhus

The champions are eager to conquer worlds in the name of the Chaos Gods!

"Each of you will be teleported to a random world from a random universe."

"Sounds... simple enough." said by Typhus

"Furthermore, each of you will be given challenges when conquering these worlds."

"What is this INSULT!" Kharn said as he pointed his chainaxe at the screen, "I will not backstab and cower my way to victory!"

"How about giving a speech?" asked by Emperor Nero

"Fine." he said as he lowers his chainaxe

"These challenges with be tailored with you in mind."

"Ha! Said like a true preacher!" said by Ahriman

"I agree." said by Argel Tal

"Well I didn't become Emperor by killing everyone in my way… cough… Kharn… cough…"

"HA! HA! HA!" said by Kharn, "You truly are the chosen of Tzeentch and Khrone!"

The five champions laugh at Kharn's comment. For an entire minute all they do is laugh. When the laughing has died down did they continued the briefing.

"Well any questions?"

"Do we expect certain death?" asked by Argel Tal

"I do not waste the lives of my men. Just like your first mission, it will stand that there will be a reasonable chance of success."

"Why are you worried about death my dear friend!" said by Kharn as he slaps his friend on the back, "If you are in trouble, I'll just blackmail the Emperor bring me and Typhus directly to your location!" he said while Typhus just gives a thumbs up and a smile

"I heard that, but be careful champion of chaos. There are things in the multiverse that even the Chaos Gods fear! AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER PATHETIC GOD-EMPEROR BUT RIVAL GODS AND ARMIES OF TERROR THAT CAN OBLITERATE OUR EXISTENCE IN JUST A SINGLE YEAR!" he said much to the sad face of Kharn. The other champions are afraid that they have incited the **wrath of the Chaos Emperor**!

"Oh," said by Nero, "I didn't meant for it to be in an angry tone," he said much to the relief of the Chosen Five, "I just need to make sure you five understand that there is more to the multiverse than what you have seen in your entire lives. Even the most oldest of races in this galaxy are but consider youngsters in the list of oldest races in the multiverse." he finished his sentence, gaining a nod from the champions, indicating that they understand their emperor.

"Good, now shall we begin?"

* * *

><p>The ground is covered in five ritual circles, each for one of the Chosen Five.<p>

"A mission worthy for the champions of chaos!" -Kharn said as he fist-bumped Argel Tal and Typhus.

"Perhaps," said the Champion of Slaanesh, "but this is still so boring!" -Lucius said going into one of his fits.

"Maybe we should make a wager, Lucius?" said by Ahriman

"What exactly is the wager?" said by Typhus

"The multiverse is a large place. Therefore whoever wins will acquire the services of the other champions to acquire a world of their own!"

"Yes! THE BLOOD GOD SURELY WOULD BE PLEASED!"

**With that the Five champions are teleported into the unknown.**


	2. Ahriman's corruption of the Protoss

Each of the champions is looking at a holographic screen which allows them to look up a variety of stuff.

"Rules are simple; each of you will have 1000 credits to spend on supplies, weapons or mercenaries," said by Chosen Emperor Nero from the main screen

Ahriman acquires 14 build drones made by the Tau xenos while Typhus settles with 23 _zombie-servitors_! Argel Tal hires some cultist while Lucius acquires a Mandiblaster, two needle guns attach to the wearers head or neck. Kharn meanwhile…

"I am patiently waiting for the package you've promised me," –Kharn stares at the screen.

"And… what is the package you seek?" –The Chosen Emperor's silhouette shows him in a confused pose

Receiving a response he did not like, Kharn went into rage mode, throwing a 36-pack of soda at the screen. Needless to say, the other champions aren't happy.

"My Primarch's axe, Gorefather, modified to have a power field in it!"

"Hmm… sorry it's too expensive. Even without the modifications you are still 278 credits short. I guess you will go through this adventure without the company of Gorefather!"

Kharn's raging mood subsided as he realized that he has to make a critical choice. Sadly, he has to give up something to acquire the power-chain axe of his glorious master.

"Then I will trade my plasma pistol," –Kharn presents his pistol to Emperor Nero

"Then you shall have it." –the plasma pistol disappears and then the axe Gorefather appears in its place

Done with their transactions, the five are ready to go wherever the Ruinous Powers would send them. Warp energies surround the entire room, covering the five with particles of blinding light.

"Blah! Warp Sorcery," said by Kharn

Suddenly, the particles blind the entire room, sending the five blasting through the warp!

"AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!" –The five champions screamed as their bodies and souls are sent to the far places of the Multiverse.

On a planet embroiled in civil war, the Tzeentch champion Ahriman materialized out of the warp.

"This world would prove to be interesting," Ahriman said as he looks around seeing several of the indigenous aliens lay dead or dying.

Realizing that these dying aliens would be easy targets for mind reading, Ahriman approaches one of the aliens.

_("What the hell are you?") said one of the dying aliens in his mind_

_Ahriman walks next to the alien. ("I am Ahriman, a visitor to your world.")_

_The Sorcerer puts his right hand on the alien's head allowing him access to the wealth of information the creature has. At the same time he uses his psyker abilities to heal the dying creature._

"Interesting," said by Ahriman as he began healing some of the other protoss, members of the Furinax caste or not

It seems these xenos call themselves the Protoss and are experiencing a brutal civil war following their expulsion of their creators/up bringers the Xel'naga. (Reminds him of how devastated his Primarch was when he learnt about the fate the Space Wolves would give him and his entire legion)

The Protoss have splintered into several tribes. Ahriman is currently standing on Aiur, the capital world of the xenos. The Human thought that if it could stop the civil war, then the xenos would accept Chaos as a substitute religion from which the Protoss can find meaning in their lives.

Walking around with the aliens he had saved and his building drones, Ahriman had noticed the brutality of the conflict. Dead bodies lay everywhere alongside their exotic war machines. One of the memories accessed from the dying Protoss were about the Furinax tribe, the best engineers of protoss society. So after a day of walking, the Sorcerer had arrived at the location of the tribe.

"Stop foreigner!" Hundreds of Furinax zealots march out to meet the group intent on ripping the foreign limb by limb should he make a single mistake

"Wait brothers and sisters!" said by one of the Furinax Protoss Ahriman had saved

"Thank the ancestors! We've thought you were all dead!"

"This man saved us from death. He wishes to speak with our tribal leaders."

Ahriman noticed how schizophrenic the society of the Protoss is. Despite having an advance technological society, the livelihood of much of the xeno race crumbled by their civil war.

"_If this keeps up, the Protoss would be sent back to the Stone Age, much as my people did during the Age of Strife," Ahriman thought_

Inside a cave, filled with brightly glowing runes, Ahriman met the elders of the Furinax tribe. Wearing very basic attire, the Protoss elders do not give a sense of royalty in them.

"Thank you very much stranger. We have given up hope of seeing some of our loved ones coming back to us," said one of the councilman

"Though we would like to ask what the reason is for you visiting our homeland?" asked another of the elders, eager to know the motives of the visitor

"Simple, I have heard of the great calamity befallen of your kind… and I want to help," said Ahriman much to gasp of the crowd behind him

Shocked several of the protoss elders began to whisper to one another. Smiling underneath his helmet, the Sorcerer Ahriman knows that his great patron will have new followers.

The next day, early in the morning

On the Aiur plateau, two of the most powerful protoss tribes stand ready to clash once again. Massive armies of alien warriors supported by various and deadly war machines and dozens of fighter craft are ready to turn this green paradise into a fiery hell hole.

"For Akilae!" said a Protoss High Templar

"For Sargas!" said a Protoss Zealot

As the battle was about to begin, a magical shockwave of immense proportions engulf the planet! The Protoss feel the blue energy coursing through the air!

"People of Aiur, heed my words!" Said by Ahriman

Suddenly appearing in the middle of the field is the Blue Sorcerer himself, accompanied by several Furinax High Templars. Amazed by such an act the Akilae and Sargas tribesmen surround the small group, yearning to hear the foreigner's words.

"I am Ahriman, a wanderer from another world! I have seen the devastation left by your kind, out of agony, and loss of purpose! (Several of the protoss looked at each other) I am here to end this madness and bring ORDER TO CHAOS!"

For the protoss, they feel a little bit different. Many of them started to feel headaches and nausea.

"Do you hear the voices too?" said Ahriman

"Yes, we hear the voices too!"

"Then the great psionic link has been restored! But I am not the one to thank!" Ahriman raised his staff and with it a giant bird-like spirit appeared behind him and his group

"All hail to Tzeentch!" Said Ahriman

"ALL HAIL TZEENTCH!"

**The Protoss tribes have been taken into the fold of Tzeentch and Chaos. Ahriman smirks underneath his helmet, knowing that he personally completed his first 'takeover' far faster than the other four could possibly do so.**


	3. Lucius vs Megaman

Lucius, Champion of Slaanesh vs Megaman, Champion of Robots!

The Champion of Excess and Debauchery has teleported into another world, a world quite unlike anything he has seen before...

"Truly a dull, ugly and primitive place!"

If he weren't an Astarte from the Slaanesh worshipping Emperor's Children! The dull colors, the boring shapes its like the world could care less about art! However, there is one aspect of this civilization that caught his attention.

The humans here use automatons! In this world, all sorts of automatons perform a wide variety of tasks. The automatons don't seem to be sentient.

"Perhaps I can acquire one to be my personal servant!"

Suddenly, explosions occur, destroying the side of a mall. Hundreds of robots emerge, attacking the civilians, both humans and fellow robots. Watching on top of a warehouse, the chosen champion is eager to find a challenge.

"It seems this world isn't as peaceful as one would thought it would be. I wonder if someone is tasked with dealing with this problem?"

And just on cue, flying on his companion robot dog, Megaman appears, flying down from the sky!

"An automaton child fighting other automatons? Truly ironic!"

Megaman jumps of and rolls into some cover. Transforming his left hand into the Megabuster, Megaman proceeds to decimate Dr. Willy's robots.

"Take this! And that! Dr. Willy got to send more than this if he's going to be a challenge!"

"Really who is this Dr. Willy?"

Startled, Megaman turns towards his behind, his arm-cannon at the ready, and sees Lucius standed there several feet away from him.

"What the heck are you!"

This... thing is definitely not one of Willy's robots. With a disgusting tentacle for his left arm and that hideous face for its head, its like it came from a freak show! What disturbs him the most is that this giant thing, wearing bulky armor, managed to get close to him without him noticing it!

"I am an Astarte of the Space Marine Legion known as the Emperor's Children!"

"I have no idea what you just said. So I'll ask you another question. Who made you?"

"Please Automaton! Unlike you, I am made of flesh and blood!"

"A human, you!?"

Megaman is dumbstruck how this thing could be human.

"Ah, as much as I enjoy this conversation..."

Lucius pulls out his power sword with his right hand, its shimmering light shows that its turned on. Megaman's robotic dog begins to bark.

"IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO DIE!"

The dog tries to pounce on Lucius, but a single shot from his mandiblasters stops the dog and paralyzed it!

"NO!"

As soon as Megaman sees his dog go down, Megaman vaults back on top of the car's hood firing two shots at Lucius.

Lucius simply charges at Megaman, dodging the shots as they pass inches from his skin, and reaches Megaman. Time began to slow down for both of them in this critical moment.

"No! How could he be so fast!"

"Checkmate!"

Lucius swings his sword, ripping through Megaman's legs along with the car.

Screams of unending and agonizing pain come from Megaman much to the excitement of the champion of Slaanesh!

Meanwhile...

Argh, why haven't the robots at sector 7 reported yet!

Willy and his four robot masters are in his castle. Pushing a button, the big screen lights up.

"What the fuck!" said Dr. Willy

The big screen shows Lucius taking down Megaman in less than a second

"Oh great deviant I hereby offer you this innocent creature as sacrifice! But first, I shall have my fun!"

"This is news live from the field!" said the news channel

The channel shows Megaman being...

"Oh my god! Cut it out! CUT IT OUT!" said the news reporter

Somewhere in a police station

"Argh, its too horrible!" said the police commissioner

The entire police department is scarred from the brief portion of the video, as they immediate turned the TVs off. Even the most veteran of police detectives are traumatized by the event!

The general public sees the horrible event unfolding in their city. Hundreds immediately die of heart attacks. The Night Lords would be proud!

"Honey, son close your eyes!" Said a father just as he turns off the TV in the house

"Megaman, No!" said Protoman seeing his brother being... Words cannot describe

"I can't switch off the camera... I'm paralyzed!"

"Turn the TV off!" said Dr. Light

"Megaman!" said Roll with tears in her eyes

The world falls to the dark hands of Slaanesh for after the horrible event, no one dared to oppose Lucius. Soon, altars are established and factories began producing weapons and equipment for the Emperor's Children and its allies. Having conquered a world, Lucius is contacted by the Chaos Emperor.

"So you made it in one piece, I was worried you may end up in pieces,"

"Clearly you underestimate my resilience!"

"Anyway, you reward?"

"A jetpack,"

"Done!"

"Now time to conquer another world!"

"Sorry, but you've spent all the time you have left in the competition! The Warp can be so tricky!"

"Impossible! I've only conquered a single world, on a single universe!"

"Do not worry, we can start another conquest later! However, a matter of utter importance has come to my attention," said the telepathic voice of Nero

Lucius is teleported to another universe. THE END!


End file.
